


Lunty Corp.'s Lair

by Juicy_eMelon



Category: Banjo-Kazooie Series, Superman - All Media Types
Genre: AGAH (All Grunty's Are Horny), Explicit Consent, F/M, Lunty, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 09:16:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17619668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Juicy_eMelon/pseuds/Juicy_eMelon
Summary: You think when I die I'll go to heaven but god'll be like "Nah, remember that time you wrote Lunty smut? The fuck was that about?"





	Lunty Corp.'s Lair

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written streaming Left at London on Spotify like all you cowards should be doing.

Lex Luthor admired his most recent corporate acquisition, a witch’s lair set in a valley. He thought that surely one of the numerous animated objects in this place would give him the power to defeat Superman once and for all.

  
As he stepped inside, he was swiftly whipped around, a large warted green hand digging into his rippling biceps pressed him against the wall. A strained rhythmic voice said “This is Grunty's home, who are you to enter oh Son of Rome?”

Lex eyed the stout woman, much shorter than him but a tall black hat atop her head more than bridged the divide between them, who was pressing him against the wall. With his free hand he adjusted his tie. “You're mistaken ma’am. I’m Lex Luthor and I’ve recently purchased this property as the previous owner, who I'm assuming is you, failed to pay their mortgage and the bank put it up for auction. Which makes you a squatter, now you’ll have to vacate the premises with whoever else is located here.”

The woman took a step back aghast, her arm falling limply down Lex's arm, shock etched onto her rough green skin. “Grunty leave with all her goons?” A sultry grin overtook her look of shock as she placed her hand on her hip, leaning into it attempting to look seductive and failing miserably by conventional standards. The hand on Lex’s arm started slowly teasing it's way back to his shoulder, then wrapping lightly around the back of his neck. “There must be something she can do to be granted a boon.”

Lex eyed the woman. As grotesque as she first appeared, he couldn’t deny she had a certain je ne sais quoi looking at her up close and… personal. To be frank his recent struggles with his caped nemesis had left him little time for matters of the flesh.

Lex narrowed his eyes, placing one of his soft manicured hands overtop the one on her hip. Drawing her close he replied “A boon you say? I assume it has something to do with you staying in this lair. If you’re implying what I think you’re implying you have a deal, though I retain all rights, powers, and objects that may be used to defeat Superman. What do you say Grunty?”

“You drive a deal as hard as a rock, but I agree now take out that cock.” Gruntilda said, tearing off her fraying knit scarf and slipping out of her loose-fitting black robe, drawing a needy moan out of Lex as she revealed she was wearing nothing underneath. “I see your face get all red, now let this witch conjure up a bed.” Now only clad in the tipped black hat and shoes, the witch did just that waving her arms a large bed with burlap sheets appeared under her own massive portrait adorning the cave walls. Grunty swaggered over, swaying her hips obscenely with each step and plopped herself down facing Lex with legs spread wide.

  
Lex gave a soft chuckle at the lewd display, making one of his own he took careful slow strides towards Gruntilda, who was running thick, green fingers through ever moistening folds. As he walked, he shed each article of clothing in turn, first his longer, more nimble fingers loosened his tie until it slid off. Then they worked at both the buttons of his jacket and shirt, until he shed them simultaneously. Lastly as he reached the bed, he undid his belt the sound of leather on cotton joining those of Gruntilda’s deep rumbling moans and the ministrations of her soaked fingers.

  
Growing in frustration Gruntilda bucked her hips up temptingly before letting out a needy whine, “My pussy is ready, stop teasing I feel unsteady!” Lex ignored her requests taking his time, sitting at the edge of the bed he turned to take off his pristine polished shoes, neatly laying them against the edge of the bed, making a similar show of discarding his socks by going tortuously slow laying each folded, inside its own shoe. Finally, Lex lifted his hips, smooth hands taking both layers of fabric down to his ankles. Picking up the discarded pants and reaching into his back-pocket Lex pulled out a condom, making methodical work of taking it from its packaging and rolling it down his member, stiff from Gruntilda’s needy display.

  
As soon as he was done, he quickly onto his knees before the witch letting his hands hover just a couple inches above green skin before pausing taking them back for a second, Gruntilda ceased with him, sensing his hesitation. “Are you sure about this?” he asked in a low serious voice, “Even if you said no, I would allow you to stay with our given terms, I’m not so capricious as to deny someone their only home and do not wish you to think that this is your only option. You seem a capable enough woman that we could work out another deal for your staying here. **Continuous, Enthusiastic, Consent under no form of Coercion or Inebriation is the most important thing during sex. Always**.”

  
Gruntilda took his face in her dry hand, calloused fingers caressing the back of Lex’s bald head. In her gentlest, most assuring voice, still overly gravely by any other metric, she said “ **You asked for consent which is always important**, but momma is horny so fuck me this moment.”

  
That seemed to be the only thing Lex needed, tilting his head to avoid bumping against her nose, his mouth dipped to take her thin lips between his own. As soon as flesh met Gruntilda eagerly slipped her tongue into Lex’s mouth, his own rising to meet hers, as if it was a battle of wills, they fought for control the pair slipping between mouths, thoroughly exploring both orifices. She tasted of onions, garlic, and eggs, he of mint and lemon. Both tastes neither were experienced with but both found deeply intriguing.

  
As they explored both pairs of hands met each other’s flesh both molten hot aching for touch, Gruntilda’s gripping hard at Lex’s toned ass urging him forward while his groped at sagging breasts, kneading them and passing his thumbs over her hardening warty nipples with each swipe. Gruntilda broke off from Lex panting, rolling her hips upwards to brush over his cock before saying “My hole still has nothing in it, please Lex fill it this minute!”

  
Unable to keep up his teasing Lex grabbed his cock, lining it up with Gruntilda’s wide entrance, thanks to her slickness he bottomed out easily in one swift motion, Gruntilda’s head flew back as hips met thighs, crumpling the brim of her hat as she cried out “Oh god Lex I love your dick! You are so incredibly thick.”

  
Lex quickly set a steady rhythm, he’d planned on going slowly, drawing out their combined pleasure but everything was too much.

  
Too much noise driving him mad, the woman beneath him grunting and moaning obscenely.

  
Too much rugged green flesh, pliant beneath his wandering hands, hers gripping around his shoulder and ankles hooking around his hips urging him deeper on each thrust.

  
Too much the mixture of smells, both of their combined sweat, mixing with the natural cave smell and Gruntilda’s wetness.

  
Too much of that wetness engulfing him and splattering onto both of their thighs which each thrust.

  
It was all too much and it pushed him to go faster and faster, letting out his own deep growling grunts. “Yes my man I hear you grunt, keep filling up Grunty’s cunt!”

  
Lex was always turned on by talking in the bedroom, but something about the witch’s rhyming dialect drove him even to new levels. He picked up the pace, thumb going down to drag tight circles around her clit he began rutting hard and merciless into Gruntilda’s pussy. As if it was the only thing left in the world. Everything he needed. Shakily, between growling moans ripped from her throat Gruntilda said “Yes Lex keep pounding my bum like you’re beating a drum, I sense you’re close I feel you thrum I’m on the edge please please cum!”

  
Always a good follower of directions Lex did exactly that, her rhymes pushing him over the edge. He bottomed out and began blasting rope after rope of sticky jizz into the condom, quickly ballooning to accommodate the voluminous load. His own orgasm quickly brought about Gruntilda’s tightening around Lex, pulsing hard around his member milking it for every drop he could muster.

  
After what seemed like an eternity of aftershocks on Gruntilda’s part Lex finally slipped out and collapsed next to Gruntilda on the scratchy sheets both clearly exhausted and well fucked. After a few minutes of catching their breath he turned to her “How would you like to join Lex Corp.? We're always looking for capable... partners.” Gruntilda chuckled before hoisting herself up, taking off the condom and straddling Lex, answering in breathily, “Partners sure, tight as glue. But first dear boy, it’s time for round two!”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a monster. Why would I type this with my actual human hands? Is it possible to die of shame alone? Do I deserve to feel shame or any emotion having produced this?
> 
> Also shout out to my friend Jessa for giving me enough encouragement that I didn't hard bail and delete this while doing last minute edits at 2am the of it being read on stream.


End file.
